The Chronicles of Lard.

PROJECT HAWAII

2006-01-16T16:48:00.000+08:00

first candidate:
YING FEI FOR EMPRESS

coming soon: yuen fei's turn

KLOP TO BABI-BABI SEKALIAN !!!

2005-12-01T03:28:00.000+08:00

Queen Babi has travelled to indonesia and found that our fellow friends has been suckled by balinese all over the island.

I tried a little. I think Subang Babi lebih sedap lah. And we are still surviving ! Kloppppppp!!!!!!

Anyway's.... have a look at the art of pig that miss Queen drew. Cute Fat One semacam the artist. ekekekek.

Piggy Personality Test

2005-11-30T04:36:00.000+08:00

Before this blog is scheduled for deletion, here's another piggy link I found.

A piggy personality test!

My piggy personality results here!

Do yours here!

A babi update

2005-10-16T21:39:00.000+08:00

Well hey, this blog is as good as a dead log.

Still... we have visitors coming in here once in a while...

Just fyi, I read from a blog that a pig's orgasm lasts for a good half hour. Whoaaaa!!! I bet some men rather be pigs now. Heeheehee!

So, the rest of you babis... this ain't a kandang without snorting and mud kicking... where have ya'll disappeared to?

Pigs off!
Babi-Wan Kenobi

at least i tried...

2005-10-14T10:28:00.001+08:00

on the 12th of Oct... i slept at 6 a.m. plus... to finish up my assignment which was due on 13th of course. sigh, my normal procedure of doing assignments last minute... Had only 3 hours sleep b4 i had to wake up again.

but this time, the assignment is so near to the exams... kinda spoils my biological clock. so anyways on the 13th night. i was very eager to study... but had a kinda "compressed" feeling in my head... after a loooong day in uni 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. So, i decided not to waste time... and SLEEP.

went to bed at 9 a.m. didn't exactly fall asleep yet.. had a few phone calls.. one fr zz, one is some zabo who missed call.. when i called back she.. harh? se mo?... wrong number i guess. then some fwded sms fr digi. and my dad called me. He thought i was out. I could hear him from upstairs...

* this is me... with my comfy blanket, zzzi'ng away...

mr. wee : *ring* *ring* where are you? went out ah?

leen: no, i'm upstairs in my room. sleeping.

mr. wee: oh sleeping ah? sorry sorry, bye.

so then i snoreddd offfffff... till my alarm rang at 530 a.m. woke up. Eager to study again. but i went down to cook a maggie mee first... hungry lah.

then i sat down n study fr 630 to 840. my eyes could hardly open then.. so i went downstairs... sliced timun.... lay it on my eyes n lie down for a while.. then before i know it.. my mouth is wide open... and there i was sleeping again... another nap worth 2 hours.

what am i to do... exams on the 24th. i'm gonna die. i keep sleeping. but at least i tried... gonna keep trying lah.

but for now... i have concluded that i'm ReaLLy Such a PIG!!!

The Bee is getting stung.

2005-08-11T02:50:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to the lovely and ever bitchy Bea. Here's to hoping that.......

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes

She'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain,She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes!

Completely lost? Nevermind...find the song here!

http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/mountain.htm

Yes Bea, I know you want to kill me.

Sticking with the babi(island?) theme...

2005-07-20T08:23:00.000+08:00

On Pulau Besar

"This island got its former name, Pulau Babi Besar, (directly translated as Big Boars Island) from the numerous wild boars that roamed the island before man inhabited the place. Surprisingly, there is not a single boar on the island at present and thus, the reason for the change of name to Pulau Besar". (some website)

Do you see them changing Jalan Kuching to Jalan Kereta? I don't.

In commemoration of the "one week more event" as well.

2005-06-25T03:23:00.000+08:00

Sandy

One more week to paradise.....

2005-06-25T02:53:00.000+08:00

It's a pity I'm not tagging along. My deepest regret for the year....

Nonetheless, here's a little glimpse of your fantasy island.

Get wet. Get wild. Get babi!

=P

Mercedes P-Class

2005-06-15T17:09:00.000+08:00

Ohhh my gawdddddd.

Top 10 signs you're worshipping HOGzilla

2005-06-11T03:19:00.000+08:00

10. Your food offerings include mud, dirt, leftover food thrown in a bucket or anything dirty and yucky.

9. Your bible/quran/sutras consists of recipes on how to cook pork.

8. Your Christmas tune starts off with 'Tis the season to be porky, tra-la-la-la-la.....'

7. You're expected to build a cross big enough to barbeque a whole piglet.

6. You issue a fatwa or jihad on 'Babi, ditanggunghalal'

5. His sole commandment: Thou shalt makan babi, tidur babi, berak babi.

4. bbQ chicken? No response
Beef steak? No response
A hundred sticks of nicely grilled satay babi? Yeahhhhh, bring it on!

3. Instead of a communion wafer, you're supposed to eat pork floss.

2. When you play mahjong, you shout out words like 'Pork' for Pong, 'Cock' for Kong, 'Sek Chu' for sek wu.

And the number one sign you're worshipping HOGZILLA is

1. You are part of this kandang babi! Muahhahhahhahahaha =P

Note: No religious offense taken. Written strictly for laughter. One more thing, ripped from here. Enjoy!

shuffle my way to a babe : Part 2

2005-06-08T17:47:00.000+08:00

all my babi sekalian ...

click this link below!!

http://www.myc.com.my/biore/contest2.htm

cross my fingers, i hope i win!!!

*woooo hooooo! i'm sooooo happy !!

RECRUITMENT DRIVE

2005-06-01T19:50:00.000+08:00

omg. this blog has stopped breathing.

it's as if all the babi's are now in different kandangs already.

it's like the blog pic. above. see how the pig is so sad and lonely in the picture.

i bet he's singing along with Akon's new song ... "Lonely, i am so lonely, i have nobody..."

he probably got separated from his babi kawan's.

sigh.

there's gonna be another kandang in melbourne soon.

me n aly's gonna be doin a recruitment drive soon enough. joel has to help us out too. we must.

any ideas? how to spot babi kawan?

what are the attributes of a si babi?

funny, gila, loves to play mahjong and pictionary, murni's......... and must be.......

he he he.

So we wait lah...

2005-05-12T15:34:00.000+08:00

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine - "la maison."
"Pencil," however, is masculine "le crayon."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(No chuckling guys ... this gets better!!!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time THEY are the problem;
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

An Ode to GL

2005-05-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

Gl, thy muffins art so fine.
More! More! More! We whine.
Though you may claim that no human wants you,
Truth is, lotsa people wanna fish with you.
Your boobs may shrink and sag
And your muffins dry and mouldy
(By the way, have you shaved them lately?)
But fret not my dear semi-lesbo,
There will always be pictionary at 50.

Is it worth it?

2005-04-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

Guess what... my Suprianti has her own Supriantis. She didn't have to come here to work as a Maria. It was because she followed her husband here. The power of love eh?

and they're off!

2005-04-26T02:17:00.000+08:00

Pig Olympics

shuffle my way to a babe

2005-04-20T01:27:00.000+08:00

Biore-Break Free from Acne. Heard of it?

Biore's having this break free roadshow kinda thing.. and they have this contest where you have to write a creative e-mail in less than 30 words to say what are the 3 worst things that you want to break free from..

10 e-mail's will be picked.. then you will receive a hamper each.

but if .. you submit a picture after being picked of how you'll break free from the whatever stuffs you have written.... and if you're one of the two that's chosen.. you'll get an Ipod Shuffle.

haha, not that i'm an enthusiast over a shuffle. but i wouldn't mind one. it's a 'no hassle' contest. just spend 10 mins.. writing an e-mail.

so here's how my e-mail went..

i feel like a pig. i need to break free from the amount of lard in my body, hairy legs and flat looking nose to be a babe.

hahaha.. so at the end of the day.. i'm still a pig.. but a beautiful one .. a BABE.

gosh.. i really want to win it. you pigs have to help me with my picture if i do get in ok?

but i just pray to god they won't publish this in the MYC magazine.

nvm la. it's worth it.

:)

Hi!

2005-04-19T09:47:00.000+08:00

I'm back aye, I'm kinda having a good time aye, I have to thank Sandy-Aly for planning the "surprise" aye, I feel bad for making all of you skip class aye (this doesn't include sandy who planned to skip) but I'll make it up by baking muffins that are not that disgusting to eat. See ya Wednesday...

Something For Everyone

2005-04-14T20:20:00.000+08:00

i'd give it all up to live on a pig farm

Snort along Piggies!

2005-04-13T20:29:00.000+08:00

To all the pigs in the world,

no matter which part of the globe you're at... you're a part of us :)

pig pork pig pig pork

i am a pig
filled of lard
back side front side
it's lardy lard lard.

i am a pig
who loves to pig
pig till i get
my belly big big.

i am a pig
who loves to snort
why do i snort?
why do you care?
snort snort snort snorty snort snort

pig pig pig piggie pig pig
pig like one
pig in pink
pig with us
and be a PIGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

all pigs who reads this... regardless if you're from Malaysia, Canada, U.K., U.S., Australia, Singapore or even Portugal? hehe.. wherever it is. Give us a snort!

*i know my song is really childish but wth.

Introducing the Martins

2005-04-07T02:28:00.000+08:00

It's way past 2am but I've got to write this before the gist of it flows away. This is what happens when you leave 2 girls (one who is distraught and the other who was just plain bored, you know who is who =P) online on msn.

Now we all know how the babi tulen is all about cars up to the extent that she will be marrying a Martin. For the "real time" feel of the hilarious conversation, here's a chronology of the chat.

alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
i name them.....aston, mercedes and porsche
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
hahahahaha

alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
yeah man
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
aston rocks
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
thats it la
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
hahahaha
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
i will have an aston by 40
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
hahahahahahhahahaha
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
he better be good looking with a name like that
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
hahahha
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
ill diet him if he shows signs of obesity

Momma pig speaking here! Hahahaha.

alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
now
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
i need to marry a martin

Aston Martin. Hahahahhaa. I was already falling off my chair. And then she had to go:

alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
wah
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
imagine my obituary
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
my anak all nama kereta
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
LOL!

She's really ambitious here...

alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
mann
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
ill have more kids just so i can name them
alyson...someone please put me out of my misery and give me teh ais says:
LOL!!!

What can I say? A pig is always a pig! She's going to be real active in the kandang soon enough... =PpPPpP

The most original joke ever =D

too much lard in my brain.

2005-04-04T01:28:00.000+08:00

you scramble around and your life looks like it's just crossed paths with the makers of the original blair witch project mockumentary. but lo! a deep rumbling is heard.

the ground thunders, trees shake, jellies wobble, and little birdies scream for worms, but to no avail.

there is no escape, save for an offering.

IT demands sacrifice.

what could appease this great beast of myth and legend? it be no american idol judge or tyra banks or some great power of the reality television network, it be in a 100m radius and it be voracious.

time to get cracking, how does one get away alive, and in good hoots with the mother father sister brother grand auntie and mother in law of all swines?

hmmmmmmmmmm.

your brain strikes upon a thought. the thought files for unprovoked assault, but grudgingly yields its flash of redeeming inspiration.

you reach into your pack, and you find what is left of your day trip supplies. two packets of cookies, a can of pringles, and a large bottle of some generic soft drink.

it just might work.

you stumble into the clearing, a sudden patch in the dark wilderness, the surrounding bush full of gargantuan hog potentiality. you hope it's wrath is not hasty, but you know for a fact that is a false hope, you'd sooner hope for healthy food at a fast food chain. no time to lose.

you open the munchies and start stuffing two cookies at a time into your mouth, you enter the ZONE, even the cookie monster can't touch you. nothing is left, you FINISH IT ALL. even the crumbs, you starver of ants you.

you lay back exhausted from this trial by fire. you have sucessfully invoked the rite of pigging out. grade-A babi behaviour. will it be enough?! will you be spared?!

hogzilla is pleased.

the woods are silent again. only the croak of frogs and insects buzzing fill the senses. a tree falls down in the forest, but you don't see it, or hear it. so it is not relevant. but... you realized you escaped just by an inch of your curly tail.

so, my fellow swines, let this be a lesson, keep constant your piggings or hogzilla will come for you. go forth and be greedy.

*note* it started out as random shit. but it just turned out to be random shit. sometimes, things are as bad as they look. the swineherd made me do it.

It's ruined

2005-04-01T14:08:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry but...

www.whatisthekandang.com

2005-03-31T03:19:00.000+08:00

So...in case you just happened to stumble across this blog and are now scratching your balding/lice-infested/greasy/pimple-plantation head in bewilderment, this post was created especially for You!

Let's be honest. We don't really give a pig's snout if you don't get us. Its not like we have a divine message to spread to the internet community. I mean, is it really your priority to understand why we seem to be so obssessed with bananas and pigs?

No, the real motive behind this ludicrous post is to lure you back into the kandang so that everytime you switch on your computer, you will inadvertantly feel the urge visit this site and make us hogs feel better about ourselves. That maybe, just maybe, our lives aren't as pathetic as they really are.

Cos you know, pigs need some lovin' too.

The Chronicles of Lard isn't a diary of a morbidly obese person detailing his various encounters of the caloric kind. This blog concerns the lives of 8 friends, of whom more will be revealed soon.

For the non-bm speaking community, "kandang babi" means "the pig sty". Obviously, WE are the babi's(pigs). Why babi? It started as a swear word used frequently by Leen. When used appropriately, it carries the same meaning as "DAMN IT" or "SHIT".

It can also be used as an affectionate but rather insulting nickname i.e: "Eh babi, want to go catch a movie later?" This brings us to the end of this mini tutorial.

Still lost?

Gosh, you're dense.

Attacked by Lizilla!!!

2005-03-29T12:54:00.000+08:00

ish...babi betul...dis is the 3rd time i've been attacked by those stupido kamikaze lizards...those who jus seem 2 wait 4 the perfect opportunity when u're not realising anything b4 they pounce on u by jumping on 2 ur bodies...haish...sad case...2day's incident happened when i was opening a cupboard in the kitchen...dunno how dat piece of crap got in there but it suddenly jumped on my hand! 4 a moment i tot it was a roachzilla or sumthin...n....uhhh....yea, i sorta let out a WHOA loudly!no, i did NOT scream mind u...but den it was loud enuf 2 attract the attention of my family members who were in the living room...who rushed 2 the kitchen 2 c dat crap scurrying off...hmmm....babi babi!!! n of course a burst of laughter followed next!babi reptiles...make me no face oni!

Memori Nasi Lemak

2005-03-29T03:57:00.000+08:00

For the first time ever, the Tai-Tai’s wanna be decided to meet up EARLY in the morning. 10:30 a.m. And NO mahjong game. And NO, we didn’t go join the already Tai-Tai’s with their Tai Chi sessions at the badminton court behind my house.
Wouldn’t want them to envy our flexibility.

So instead, we decided to kick start the day with a delicious meal of American Breakfast. Sorry Ken, i know you’re a fan of Protein. :)

We dug out sausages, eggs, oil, cheese, honey, bread, markisa juice, salt, sugar, chilli, and ketchup from the palace’s kitchen. Sandy Babi did the honour of frying honey sausages and making us scramble eggs. Queen Babi was busy preparing the table, making markisa juice, and toasting too burnt bread for everyone. ZeBraBi.. oh.. she was peeping around every once in a while to check if the honey sausages were done. Very hungry you see.. :P

American Breakfast was good. Now it’s time for Oprah Winfrey.

Today’s episode was about how older women maintain their youth. Their a bunch of MILF’s i’m sure. Some super hot. There’s one 40 plus lady who is so hot her son’s friends were actually checking her out when she came by the school . They thought she was a new girl in school. Can u imagine that?

At this age, someone actually mistaken me to be an admin lady working at the computer lab in Monash. Argh.. i’ve gotta to do something to compete with those MILF’s. I guess zebrabi and sandy were somehow or rather inspired to.. since we’re all aiming to be BEACH BABES by July the 3rd. On 4th of July… we will celebrate along with America.. it will be our Independence Day too! We’ll be free from diet guilt and be feasting away with our BBQ dinner. Can’t wait for that.

Despite that… we still went ahead to makan nasi LEMAK. Adding on the amount of lard in us. Sigh. But no regrets. It’s the greatest nasi lemak anyone can find. Plus this nasi lemak has it’s very own secret recipe – memories.

Any idea where you can get this great nasi lemak?

It’s located along Jalan SS14/6, & it’s called “Kantin Sekolah Menengah Subang Jaya”.

Sounds familiar now?

:)

Yes ppl. We went back to SMSJ to have lunch. It was one of the best lunch I ever had! Having the chance to rewind yourself back to the high school times. Being in the canteen, walking around, lining up to grab yourself a nasi lemak.. and buzzing around to find a place to seat. You feel like you’ve jumped back to those old care-free days.
I’m serious. Except this time, you get giggles and laughters plus stares from midget boys.

I’m sure if you did the same thing.. you would have felt the same way. However much I describe how I felt.. you wouldn’t feel how i felt. You must experience it yourself. But for now.. i’ll share some pictures to enlighten you on the happiness that Sandy Babi, Queen Babi, ZeBraBi and BabiDict felt.

Zee and Aly. What the heck is Zee looking at?!

i tell you.. ZeBraBi is blessed with eagle eyes. Zee... which hansome midget was it? Senyum until so manis somemore.

Sleen and Zee stuffing their faces with nasi lemak.

Are you jealous yet? We’ll be going back again soon i think.. Anyone wanna bungkus? Delivery charges included yeah.

Joel and Aly hamming it up to the camera...Hehe

Don’t you miss those RM1.00 nasi lemak? But now.. no more styrofoam. It’s wrapped with green paper. The tipu version of banana leaf.

Lastly, we couldn’t resist taking a picture in front of Pejabat Guru.

Group Picture. Can you see the bench bending under the weight of our lardy asses

Today was sweet and fun. 4 yrs back, I would have never imagined coming back to SMSJ feeling so happy with alyson, joel and zee wan. I’m glad I did.

“..I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again….”
Barry Manilow - Memories.

The boys and their bananas.

2005-03-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

Going Bananas

2005-03-27T03:15:00.000+08:00

And so the Babana celebrates another year gone by. When the rest of us got wind that Babana was depressed and terperap in his house without cake and some good lovin', we decided something had to be done. After all, a sad, wilted, droopy banana is a sorry sight for our innocent young peepers.

Although we couldn't get you GL's (in)famous homemade fluffy muffins, we did the next best thing and got you Amos' Famous Muffins. Don't despair though, I am sure that one day you will be able to personally eat Gaik Li's muffins to your hearts content. They are pretty big after all. Oh and they are professionally baked by workers in UNIFORMS so you can be assured of its quality. Yummeh.

I hope you liked your birthday cake. The Queenbabi and I almost laughed to death preparing it. For the babi members that weren't there, the "cake" consisted of a giant muffin with the biggest, longest pisang we could buy rammed into the middle of it, followed by a candle rammed into the tip of the banana and set ablaze. Whipped cream at the tip would have been ideal, however I would have had to burgle Onibabi's house in order to acquire that.

I tell you, words simply cannot do justice to the magnificence that was the Babana Cake. I wish I could show a pic of the cake in all its glory unfortunately the Babana dug into it with such speed and gusto that all that was left of that magnificent tower was a stump.

Aside: Why is it that I cannot write or say anything without it sounding pervy??!! Gedangit.

Anyways, this is not the end yet for Babana so watch out....we have more surprises in store....MUAHAHAHA.

I am too lazy to end this in a proper manner so...

THE END

babigenic

2005-03-25T04:55:00.000+08:00

babi|merata-rata

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

A SHIN is not a Shin

2005-03-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

I'll start to crap in the kandang with a dedication to Aly Shin.

About the babi tulen :

Aly
A totally smartass eljayer and RQer that is rumored to have sand in her vagina, is a huge comment whore, and thinks that she is the shit!

Shin
A sexy beast.e.i; The lower male sex organ.
"Pet my shin any time."

Crayon
1. A person who is usually referred to as a spastic.Usually used in conjuction with the word muncher.As in "you crayon muncher"
Jerry is such a crayon... Isn't he?

2. just another name for a dick
Your such a crayon Joe!

*I wish I were in KL now... watching Ken and Sunita tease my gossip kaki to death.

missing all of you... MuffinBabi

10 perished in freak tragedy

2005-03-22T18:22:00.000+08:00

SUBANG JAYA: Police discovered charred remains of 10 university students in a double-storey link house. Found at the scene were a few objects believed to be weapons of mass mutilation. Barrels of kerosene, a pair of tongs and pincers, a mahjong set, a pictionary board game and a very large handphone assumably were the cause of this inhumane act. Reports from crime scene investigators showed bodies of the victims were barbarically savaged. Privates of male victims clipped off by sharp-ended tongs, chest of females severely pressed using mahjong tiles thereafter their carcasses left to burn in kerosene presumably ignited by the radioactive rays of a mobile phone. Police also located a BMW smeared with what smelt like pig's blood in big, bold words "PAY UP RM 350". According to statements from neighbours, words like 'mafia', 'doctor' and 'civilians' were heard throughout the night. The most unsightly and violent crime scene in many decades, police credits it to works of brilliant criminal masterminds.

Touchwood! No offense but you get my point! Hehe ;P

Ooh Baby Baby...

2005-03-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

Bravo Babi Halal, bravo. Honestly, for your first time I really didn't expect it to be so long and powerful. I guess they don't call you Long Ah Dong for nothing eh? Although I must say, it did get a little soft in the end, not to mention the rather abrupt ending. Im sorry I laughed at it though, I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

And my gosh it took you a long time to get it up and starting. I really couldn't wait for that long so I went to sleep instead. All I can say though is that it REALLY woke me up and kick-started my day. Thank you so so so much.

In fact, you should get on Oprah and weep and tell your saga to the world. Then later we can both go on Jerry Springer where I am gonna bitchslap you and we can catfight and rip each others hair out whilst yelling obscenities. Then I can bring my whip and have a go at you from across the stage.

Sounds like fun eh?

ALYSON MADE ME LOSE MY VIRGINITY

2005-03-19T03:18:00.000+08:00

Yes. It's True.

Alyson Shin menggodai saya ...
.

the penggoda

I couldn't help it... the she-devil tempted me...

How could a mere mortal like me resist?!?!

At first I was afraid. I didn't know what to do... "Should I take it nice and slow or should I get right down to business?" I've had so many people tell me about how their first time was horrible...I wasn't going to be one of them! I wanted my first time to be special. After all, I've been wanting it for ages.

Gaik Li started doing it when she left for Vancouver. I think the loneliness brought on from being away from all her friends had finally consumed her. Z1 and Sher Leen have asked me why I've never done it before and I told them I wasn't ready. I'm sure they've done it before... in fact I think they told me they enjoy it a lot! they probably do it at least once or twice a week.

Alyson couldn't wait any longer... she kept asking me to hurry up and do it. She couldn't wait any longer so she gave me an ultimatum... Aly said that I either do it NOW or she was going to sleep. I caved in. After all I'm twenty and kids these days start young .

It was hard at first. Awkward. Uncomfortable. I didn't know what went where. But once I got the hang of it, it just felt so natural. I just kept going and going! Before I knew it it was over. This would definitely be one night I would never forget. After I finished I felt like having a cigarette. She fell asleep coz' she was just too exhausted and she had an early day tomorrow. I'm hoping to ask her how I did tomorrow coz she probably would've left for work by the time I get up. I never thought I would be asking someone "Was it Good for you??" so soon... I know one day I will wonder whether I did the right thing.. letting that vixen seduce me into doing it.

...... BUT ......

deep down inside I will always be thankful that Alyson Shin had made me lose my Blogging Virginity.

Classic Babi Jokes

2005-03-19T01:49:00.000+08:00

I love DiGi even more today.

Free movie passes and popcorns plus coke = babi's night out.

We rushed out from the kandang to watch robots in TGV.

Love the intro of robots, on how the baby was "made". who could have think of thaT?

Besides the giggles from robots. we had some quality babi jokes too.. which ought to be published.

the kepit joke
we saw a kepit underneath the basin which we guessed was used to pick up "ughhh" stuffs from the jamban. but it's actually the bbq kepit.
rachel : hey that's what i use for BBQ.
alyson: to kepit sausages
leen: the sausage dropped off?

haha, ken n babana .. that's what we were laughing at.

the tampon joke
ken was telling us how this girl stuffed tampons into her roommates jamban for revenge.
Ken: ..... such a good idea... must use tampons next time..
Rachel: Why would you even have tampons in the first place?

WHY? ... we thought of an answer..

... to save you from diarrhoea attack when swimming!

now tampons becomes a unisex thing. better jot it down in your redang list guys. If not, you'd be worse that aunt fanny from robot, smelly fartsy plus FLUID STOOL. eeeeewwwwww

I bet "Save the Turtles" committee will freestyle over and put you into Turtle Jail. Could be pretty scary underneath the huge cangkerang.

PLUS, you wouldn't want to spoil the betina babi's appetite for sausages on BBQ night right?

I hear Pasir Panjang is a good spot for MANHUNT.. so ... :) hehe.

the buta kerbau joke
rachel was trying to tell the mamak waiter that her mee goreng takda mata kerbau. hrmm.. so what's a mee goreng without mata kerbau? ...

we figured it can be called mee goreng dengan buta kerbau.

Haha, but to think of it, if buta still got eyeballs right... means must correct out the egg yolk.. then only buta kerbau!!

k la jantan dan betina babi sekalian's.. it's 4 a.m. now.. .. i wrote this post first time.. then error.
When i click edit, the whole post was gone.. left back the tajuk .. pathetic.

Second time, i saved as draft, but to ensure it's even safer.. i click Ctrl + C to copy.. but the whole post when misssing ..

So this is my third time..

Finally i finish my babi assignment..

So g'nite to all my jantan + betina babi kawan .. see you soon!

Wooohooooo....finally i'm here!!!!

2005-03-17T21:09:00.000+08:00

fret not babi-babi betina-betina sekalian....d manly babi has finally arrived here after an agonising 17 hrs of wait!!!!!!!! =PpPpP

Ohohoho!

2005-03-17T04:19:00.000+08:00

Well well well....

This is a Frankenstein-esque blog. And Z1 and I are God....Admin that is. Nevertheless, this should be fun. Muahahaha.

As this is a pork-flavoured blog, the damn template needs to have an element of pink in it. And I don't want it to be identical to my own blog. Or to the Queen Babi. But the alternatives are too menjijikkan to consider.

As such, this template will stay on temporarily until something better is discovered. Or until I change my mind in the morning.

html is the biggest, meanest bitch the world.

The babi world

2005-03-17T02:14:00.000+08:00

test. test. not much to test anyway. We all know it works. Just to see the cacat template! hahahha