too much lard in my brain.
you scramble around and your life looks like it's just crossed paths with the makers of the original blair witch project mockumentary. but lo! a deep rumbling is heard.
the ground thunders, trees shake, jellies wobble, and little birdies scream for worms, but to no avail.
there is no escape, save for an offering.
IT demands sacrifice.
what could appease this great beast of myth and legend? it be no american idol judge or tyra banks or some great power of the reality television network, it be in a 100m radius and it be voracious.
time to get cracking, how does one get away alive, and in good hoots with the mother father sister brother grand auntie and mother in law of all swines?
hmmmmmmmmmm.
your brain strikes upon a thought. the thought files for unprovoked assault, but grudgingly yields its flash of redeeming inspiration.
you reach into your pack, and you find what is left of your day trip supplies. two packets of cookies, a can of pringles, and a large bottle of some generic soft drink.
it just might work.
you stumble into the clearing, a sudden patch in the dark wilderness, the surrounding bush full of gargantuan hog potentiality. you hope it's wrath is not hasty, but you know for a fact that is a false hope, you'd sooner hope for healthy food at a fast food chain. no time to lose.
you open the munchies and start stuffing two cookies at a time into your mouth, you enter the ZONE, even the cookie monster can't touch you. nothing is left, you FINISH IT ALL. even the crumbs, you starver of ants you.
you lay back exhausted from this trial by fire. you have sucessfully invoked the rite of pigging out. grade-A babi behaviour. will it be enough?! will you be spared?!
hogzilla is pleased.
the woods are silent again. only the croak of frogs and insects buzzing fill the senses. a tree falls down in the forest, but you don't see it, or hear it. so it is not relevant. but... you realized you escaped just by an inch of your curly tail.
so, my fellow swines, let this be a lesson, keep constant your piggings or hogzilla will come for you. go forth and be greedy.
*note* it started out as random shit. but it just turned out to be random shit. sometimes, things are as bad as they look. the swineherd made me do it.
the ground thunders, trees shake, jellies wobble, and little birdies scream for worms, but to no avail.
there is no escape, save for an offering.
IT demands sacrifice.
what could appease this great beast of myth and legend? it be no american idol judge or tyra banks or some great power of the reality television network, it be in a 100m radius and it be voracious.
time to get cracking, how does one get away alive, and in good hoots with the mother father sister brother grand auntie and mother in law of all swines?
hmmmmmmmmmm.
your brain strikes upon a thought. the thought files for unprovoked assault, but grudgingly yields its flash of redeeming inspiration.
you reach into your pack, and you find what is left of your day trip supplies. two packets of cookies, a can of pringles, and a large bottle of some generic soft drink.
it just might work.
you stumble into the clearing, a sudden patch in the dark wilderness, the surrounding bush full of gargantuan hog potentiality. you hope it's wrath is not hasty, but you know for a fact that is a false hope, you'd sooner hope for healthy food at a fast food chain. no time to lose.
you open the munchies and start stuffing two cookies at a time into your mouth, you enter the ZONE, even the cookie monster can't touch you. nothing is left, you FINISH IT ALL. even the crumbs, you starver of ants you.
you lay back exhausted from this trial by fire. you have sucessfully invoked the rite of pigging out. grade-A babi behaviour. will it be enough?! will you be spared?!
hogzilla is pleased.
the woods are silent again. only the croak of frogs and insects buzzing fill the senses. a tree falls down in the forest, but you don't see it, or hear it. so it is not relevant. but... you realized you escaped just by an inch of your curly tail.
so, my fellow swines, let this be a lesson, keep constant your piggings or hogzilla will come for you. go forth and be greedy.
*note* it started out as random shit. but it just turned out to be random shit. sometimes, things are as bad as they look. the swineherd made me do it.
snorted by onigiri @ 1:28 AM
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